By Hannah Endicott-Douglas

My older sister and I are in quarantine together. We realized the other day that this has been the most time we’ve spent under the same roof since we were teenagers. It’s brought up a lot for us. Old dynamics have come to the surface and we are forced to navigate them in a deeper way because we are sharing space so intensely. Some days we talk for hours- about what’s going on in the world, or about us, or about our family- a whole lot about healing. It can get heavy. Some days our energies clash- she might be feeling especially inspired and I might be feeling especially cynical. So on those days, we tend to stay out of each other’s way as much as possible but then no matter what has taken place that particular day (they do seem to all blend together don’t they?) we find ourselves, around six pm, together in the kitchen, hungry! 

And our evening ritual begins: I roll a joint for her and one for me (an added Covid 19 precaution) and she starts to cook. Sometimes I help. No, I’m joking, I do help. Usually. I’m rolling the joints through- which is ALSO important! Anyways…

Then we smoke together, and there’s a shift. 

We’ve taken to blasting music (mostly nostalgic throwbacks) and singing at the top of our lungs, dancing around in a way that I only really feel totally comfortable doing with my siblings. Then we eat and pick something to watch. We were watching The Sopranos but sometimes we need a break from the violence so we’ll watch Insecure or a movie (mostly a nostalgic throwback) instead. Then eventually one of us (her) will start falling asleep and we’ll say goodnight and head to bed.

The weed is a small part of our evenings together but I think it has played an important role for us. It gives us permission to slow down and just have fun. We get to be silly and get in touch with our younger selves. And through that, I’m not exactly sure how yet,  it feels like these evenings together are a vital part of the healing that we talk so much about. 

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